“Forget consistency… Just keep right on looking for creative solutions to problems (it’s rather like don’t look down!!!”
– Josephine Smith
From the archives: The original post was posted on 14th July 2000
“My questions, now that I’ve found them, are these:
1: How to foment consistency in Taking Children Seriously practices in oneself when you are finding them difficult to practice because you have trouble seeing your own entrenched theories?”
Adults and children are……humans.
Humans are fallible.
There is never one answer that will ALWAYS work.
Don’t foment consistency! Forget consistency!!!
Simply (!) remain open to any possibility 🙂
“(I have encouraged the older child to tell me if I am being stupid about something but realise it is my responsibility, not theirs, to be aware of myself)”
Don’t bother about stupidity!
Don’t look for it, focus on it or give it the time of day!
Don’t ask others to tell you when you are being stupid and refrain from pointing out the faults of others.
“2: Coping methods people use for dealing with the results of your coercion in order to work through the problem to a [solution] (or even to a point where you can THINK about looking for a [solution]!).”
Simply (!) refuse to use coercive strategies for getting what you believe to be best (for yourself or everyone)
Just keep right on looking for creative solutions to problems (it’s rather like don’t look down!!!)
Definitely give up work(ing) through the problems.
Keep to what is here and now….the past is nothing except fallible memory.
“For example, in a situation where there is (for now, soon to buy another) one tv and the 2 young people in the house disagree about what should be on and one or the other begins yelling I find it extremely difficult to focus on the problem rather than the noise. I then get caught up in trying to make quiet rather than trying to find solutions people will like.”
Ummm I do shout above noise (not often) but I am not above joining in with a chaotic situation so that my voice shouting HOW ABOUT USING THE VIDEO! can be heard. 🙂
I may also be seen waving chocolate bars around to distract children from acts of violence.
Ditch preconceived notions about how Taking Children Seriously looks (happy smiling children discussing each other’s needs and wants). Think Jim Cary!
See also:
Josephine Smith, 2000, ‘Don’t look down!’, https://takingchildrenseriously.com/dont-look-down