“I think that parents ought to bend over backwards to avoid subjecting their children to anynbsp;public scrutiny (not just on the internet) that the children themselves have not eagerly sought.”
– David Deutsch
From the archives: Posted on 6th January 1998
“I have been wondering how one advocates for certain political (and personal) issues while respecting a child’s privacy. If one chooses to build one’s family in a non-conventional way, is it violating the child’s (who is the result of that choice) privacy to discuss it openly (i.e, participating on Internet lists, sharing info with friends and family)? What do others think about this? Is there a way to balance these two things? I’ve tried to not go into detail in order to not do what I’m asking about.”
Excellent question. I think that parents ought to bend over backwards to avoid subjecting their children to anynbsp;public scrutiny (not just on the internet) that the children themselves have not eagerly sought. But how can that be made consistent with a List one of whose main purposes is to provide support, practical ideas, specific criticism, etc., to parents who are trying to implement non-coercive education with real children, and are encountering specific problems? One obvious measure is always to ask the child’s permission before making anything about his personal life public. But that may not be enough. When we have discussed this before on the List, the consensus seems to have been that when parents comment or ask for advice on issues regarding their children, they should phrase everything as anonymously and generically as is consistent with asking the question, feeling free to change the facts as well as the names if at all possible.
David Deutsch, 1998, ‘Respecting children’s privacy’, https://www.takingchildrenseriously.com/respecting-childrens-privacy