“Has she hitchhiked long distances before? If not, perhaps she would like to try the Outer Hebrides as a trial run before Outer Mongolia?!”
– Sarah Fitz-Claridge
“Our 15-year-old wants to hitchhike to Outer Mongolia by herself. We think she is not yet ‘street-wise’ enough. What should we do?”
She is a sovereign individual. Her life is her own. So as always, morally, you can explain and make suggestions, and ultimately help her to do as she chooses. Has she hitchhiked long distances before? If not, perhaps she would like to try the Outer Hebrides as a trial run before Outer Mongolia? Is she fully aware of all the dangers she might encounter along the way? Does she know about the cultural differences? (I myself had some bad experiences when travelling solo internationally as a very young person with insufficient knowledge of the different cultures of the countries I was visiting.) Is she aware of the risks of hitchhiking? (I myself once had a bad experience hitchhiking and only managed to escape when the car paused at a red light. I would recommend a taxi instead, except that I also once had a bad experience in a taxi!) Would she perhaps like your ex-special-forces brother to drive her, or would she allow your friend whose company provides close protection for journalists in war zones to follow her and keep her safe without actually driving her?! Has she got friends who would like to go too? And so on.
If she is still convinced that it’s solo to Mongolia or nothing, then make sure she doesn’t lack for the practicalities. For example, make sure she has all the latest safety technology including a satellite phone so that she can telephone you or whomever if she wishes, and a RECCO reflector or other means by which she could be found in an emergency. [Technology is improving so fast all the time that it may be that RECCO reflectors are now out-of-date technology! Find out what the best current options are. What3Words, a solar charger and Starlink, maybe? (When your car sat nav goes blank and says that it is out of GPS satellite range, and you have another 500+ miles to drive, that can be a little unnerving!)]
Ensure that she has access to sufficient funds and that she knows how to get more cash should that be necessary. Offer her as much information as possible about Outer Mongolia, including information about cultural differences and any potential problems she might not have considered. Be sure that she knows that you would, if called upon to do so, drop everything and join her in Outer Mongolia.
Of course if you are American or live in America, it is probably illegal for her to make such a solo trip. In which case, you will have to try to come up with a solution together that will not land you in prison and your daughter in foster care. There will be a solution. You just have to bring your joint creativity to bear to find it.
See also:
- How to read this site
- Is your child worried about death?
- Parents accept costs and inconvenience for their children
Sarah Fitz-Claridge, 2022, Taking Children Seriously FAQ: ‘“Our 15-year-old wants to hitchhike to Outer Mongolia by herself. We think she is not yet ‘street-wise’ enough. What should we do?”’, https://takingchildrenseriously.com/our-15-year-old-wants-to-hitchhike-to-outer-mongolia-by-herself-we-think-she-is-not-yet-street-wise-enough-what-should-we-do/