“[W]hen first encountering Taking Children Seriously ideas I found myself often in the state of not knowing what I wanted. It was as if I’d shaken off all the ought to’s and have to’s and must’s and was really scared that there might not be anything left once I’d discarded all that. Then one day I found something that really made me feel happy (…a… video game…) and from there I kept finding more and more ways to enjoy myself.”
– Francine Lucidon
From the archives: Posted on 30th December, 1999
T. wrote:
“A man simultaneously thinks that departing on a trip by automobile is the best thing to do, and that completing paperwork is the best thing to do, and in the face of this conflict does neither.”
“If I’m in a situation of coercion regardless of whether I take action reluctantly and halfheartedly, then that sort of ‘action’ isn’t problematic in the way people here initially made it sound.”
But why must you take reluctant or half hearted action? Why not take whole hearted action once you find a solution to your conflict? For example, you could travel by train instead of driving and do the paperwork on the train. You could decide to do the paperwork when you get to your destination. If you’ve only got choices between things you desire halfheartedly, what can you find instead that you can desire wholeheartedly?
BTW, when first encountering Taking Children Seriously ideas I found myself often in the state of not knowing what I wanted. It was as if I’d shaken off all the ought to’s and have to’s and must’s and was really scared that there might not be anything left once I’d discarded all that. Then one day I found something that really made me feel happy (it was a spirited little Japanese video game, all bright colors and naive art) and from there I kept finding more and more ways to enjoy myself. It might sound silly but that was really part of my ‘process.’
I’m not sure I’ve completely understood your dilemma but I’m hoping this might be helpful.
Sincerely, Francine
PS. The video game is Parappa the Rapper if you want to give it a try. The scene with the moose driving instructor is particularly uplifting.😀
See also:
- Solutions are created at the time
- Inculcating consent?
- “What if they bring home objectionable literature?!”
Francine Lucidon, 1999, ‘Doing something fun helped’, https://takingchildrenseriously.com/doing-something-fun-helped