Unmet needs and being triggered by others’ judgements can make noncoercion feel difficult for parents just like they can make it difficult for our children. Reminding ourselves what we are about can help us retain the understanding and empathy for our children that we hope for for ourselves.
Noncoercive = embracing others exactly the way they are, and they can change if they want to and they don’t have to. Coercive = trying to control, fix or change others against their will.
If parents knew that they could reject the conventional approach and it would not ruin their precious child’s life, many more would do so. If you cannot see that rejecting the status quo is not only right, but also will not have any disastrous unintended consequences, it feels safer to stick with the tradition of paternalistic coercion.
Taking Children Seriously is neither utopian nor revolutionary. It is fallibilist and respects tradition as well as the growth of knowledge.
Learning is different from looking at one’s learning. Objectifying education as a thing to look at and judge interferes with learning.