A child is angry for a reason. They may not know what that reason is; they may not want to say what it is, but there is a reason. Parents can be a child’s best helper in figuring out good ways to solve the problem.
When a toddler hits a parent, should the parent communicate their honest reaction, whether it be showing hurt if they’ve been hurt, or any emotional response, such as feeling anger or sadness?
Protecting the victim should not involve intentionally punishing the aggressor, either physically or by even frowning at the aggressor.
Noticing the differences between tone of voice we find acceptable with our children vs with other people, or thinking about how our tone of voice might look to a third party, can be eye-opening.