In case it is not obvious, whilst many of these quotations are consistent with Taking Children Seriously, many of them are not. Sometimes it is just interesting that that person said it, or it is interesting for some other reason.
“The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.”
– Thomas Jefferson, 1790, Letter to Francis Willis
“Children need models more than they need critics.”
– Joseph Joubert, 1842, Pensées
“When a parent says, ‘I make the decisions here!’ children learn that they have no personal freedom.”
– Jesper Juul, 1995, 2001, Your Competent Child, p. 22
“[W]hat we really taught children was to respect power, authority, and violence—but not other human beings.”
– Jesper Juul, 1995, 2001, Your Competent Child, p. 14
“By dealing in consequences and punishment, parents gradually destroy their relationship with their children. They decline all responsibility for the conflict that has arisen and turn the child into the guilty party.”
– Jesper Juul, 1995, 2001, Your Competent Child, p. 23
“- Children who are treated with respect treat others with respect.
– Children who are cared for care for others.
– Children whose integrity is not violated don’t violate the integrity of others.”
– Jesper Juul, 1995, 2001, Your Competent Child, p. 44
“[T]he way in which we behave toward our children will determine the future of the world.”
– Jesper Juul, 1995, 2001, Your Competent Child, p. 6
“[S]etting limits for others is first and foremost an expression of power.”
– Jesper Juul, 1995, 2001, Your Competent Child, p. 20
“Now that we know that children are real people from birth, it is absurd to speak of “methods” [of upbringing]. Think for a moment about how we would sound if we applied this concept to adult relationships.”
– Jesper Juul, 1995, 2001, Your Competent Child, p. 16
“[M]ost of what we traditionally understand by the term ‘upbringing’ is both superfluous and directly harmful. Not only is it unhealthy for children, but it also hinders adults, precluding their growth and development. Furthermore, it has a destructive influence on the quality of relationships between children and adults.”
– Jesper Juul, Your Competent Child, p. 6
“[E]ach individual’s existential freedom does not constitute a threat toward the community, but is rather vital to the continued health of the community as a whole.”
– Jesper Juul, 1995, 2001, Your Competent Child, p. 7
“[W]e tend to regard children as potential rather than actual beings, as antisocial‘semi-beings.’ As a result, we assume, first, that they need to be subjected to massive influence and manipulation from adults, and second, that they have to reach a particular age before they can be regarded as equals and real people.”
– Jesper Juul, 1995, 2001, Your Competent Child, p. 5
“We still saddle children with a responsibility that few parents, politicians, educators, teachers, or therapists are willing to take upon themselves.”
– Jesper Juul, 1995, 2001, Your Competent Child, pp. 4-5
Return to alphabetical index of Quotations pages
Taking Children Seriously, ‘Quotations J’, https://takingchildrenseriously.com/quotations/